Balancing Work and Family Life: A Guide for Muslim Men
By Zaid Adib Ansari
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
“The Balanced Middle Path empowers Muslims to navigate the complexities of modern life by harmonizing tradition with tolerance. We illuminate pathways for embracing the Sunnah in an authentic balanced way, fostering understanding, growth and stability.”
In today’s fast-paced world, the balance between work and family life is a challenge many Muslim men are not exempt from dealing with. Muslim men are faced with striving to make ends meet at the lowest level, and at more accelerated levels, they must wrestle with the challenge to excel in business and on the job. They must also act as an anchor in family life. My goal in this essay is to explore practical ways to sync both of these heavy lifts without compromising either. All of these considerations is framed by Islamic principles that most Muslims understand.
Understanding the Importance of Balance in the Quran
Islam emphasizes the significance of balance in every aspect of life. The Quran says, “It is Allah Who has sent down the Book in Truth, and the Balance.” “And the Firmament has He raised high, and He has set up the Balance, in order that you may not transgress (due) balance. So, establish weight with justice and fall not short in the balance.” Quran 55: 7-9
Understanding the Importance of Balance in the Authentic Sunnah
Brothers and sisters, one of the best reminders of the importance to apply balance to all of our affairs comes from a statement from Wahb ibn Munnabih, may Allah have mercy on him, when he said (I’ll cite the text in Arabic first then in English):
إِنَّ لِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ طَرَفَيْنِ وَوَسَطًا فَإِذَا أَمْسَكْتَ بِأَحَدِ الطَّرَفَيْنِ مَالَ الآخَرُ وَإِذَا أَمْسَكْتَ بِالْوَسَطِ اعْتَدَلَ الطَّرَفَانِ ثُمَّ قَالَ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالأَوْسَطِ مِنَ الأَشْيَاءِ
“Verily, everything has two ends and a middle. If you hold one of the ends, the other will be skewed. If you hold the middle, the two ends will be balanced. You must seek the middle ground in all things: From Hilyat Al-Awliya 4818,”Setting Priorities and Boundaries”.
His wisdom underscores the necessity to strive to achieve balance. These points do not exclude other valid checks for balance that exist, but they do provide us with a radar-screen-like overview of how to strike a balanced approach dealing with family life. Based on his statement, let’s list some points.
1. Establish Clear Priorities According to a Deen Based Moral Compass
Prioritizing is crucial to muster the energy to use to put first things first. For Muslim men, the well-being of their family should not be overshadowed by work ambitions. However, work and establishing the maintenance of a family is the sole responsibility of a man. Islam does not assign a role to women for one half of the financial well-being of a family. As Allah says in the Quran, “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”. Quran, 4-24.
2. Work Goals
There is nothing blameworthy in striving hard to provide comfort, safety and stability in one’s home. Muslim men should want to place their family in a neighborhood that is peaceful, safe, where houses and apartments have value and utility for the family. These efforts are balanced and guided by moderation and community values. They are not shaped by keeping-up with the Joneses’, where status and outward display of worldly success dominate. Balanced wholesome values guide a lifestyle of gratitude to Allah for his blessings. I have grown to understand that working to obtain material things is natural and is consistent with Allah’s plan for humankind. However, it must be balanced. One aspect of a Muslim being balanced is to include striving for the hereafter. This aspiration is an essential aspect of maintaining balance. An authentic Hadith helped me embrace this aspect. I’ll show the hadith here: Abdur-Rahman bin Aban bin ‘Uthman bin ‘Affan narrated that his father said: “Zaid bin Thabit departed from Marwan at mid-day. I said: ‘He has not sent him out at this time of the day except for something he asked.’ So, I asked him, and he said: ‘He asked me about some things we heard from the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: “Whoever is focused only on this world, Allah will confound his affairs and make him fear poverty constantly, and he will not get anything of this world except that which has been decreed for him. Whoever is focused on the Hereafter, Allah will settle his affairs for him and make him feel content with his lot, and his provision and worldly gains will undoubtedly come to him.”: Sahih Sunan Ibn Majah 4105 Book 37, Hadith 6 Hadith 4105
3. Family Goals
These goals should be discussed and agreed to by the family members. These goals are not edicts of a Muslim man. The goals should focus on overall family life. They should focus on spending quality time with family. Typical activities should include being involved in your children’s education and supporting your spouse’s aspirations.
4. Time Management Techniques
Effective time management can transform how you fulfill your dual roles. An emphasis on a wise use of time is essential in Islam. In an authentic Hadith Qudsi, Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), said that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: Allah said: Sons of Adam inveigh (verbally attacked) against [the vicissitudes (variations) of] Time, and I am Time, in My hand is the night and the day, reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim. Respect for the time allotted us in our lives essentially is related to worshiping Allah.
5. Plan Your Week in Advance
Use a planner or other free technology tools to schedule work tasks and family activities. You can print this and stick it under a magnet on the refrigerator. This approach will help you to see how your week looks.
Spiritual and Personal Well-being
Maintaining personal well-being is crucial in managing work and family life. This involves:
Regular Prayer and Thikr:
Making salat is the second pillar after belief in the oneness of Allah and the Prophethood. Muslims are taught to see prayer as an important revival that occurs five times daily. We are also encouraged to pause after each prayer and make supplications and repeat remembrances that our Prophet used (May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
Physical Health:
Regular exercise and a proper diet enhance mental clarity and physical readiness, enabling you to handle the demands of both work and family more effectively. Personally, using my treadmill helps me improve my mood and attitude when I am dealing with stressful situations.
Continuous Learning:
Engaging in Islamic studies and personal development courses is a game changer. Brothers and sisters, there is a treasure trove of free and paid classes online. Your search engine can help you find lectures, free PDF downloads and beneficial videos.
Conclusion
For Muslim men, balancing work and family responsibilities is an ongoing challenge. It is also a tremendous opportunity. Trials and test make us stronger and better husbands and fathers. Most of the things I pointed out in this essay, many of you know and use to manage your work and family life. We also know that Allah said وَذَكِّرْ فَإِنَّ ٱلذِّكْرَىٰ تَنفَعُ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ “But continue to remind. For certainly reminders benefit the believers”. Quran, 51-55.
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